Ok deep breath – this is a bit of a long post from my heart, the deeper bits that I don’t share readily, so if it’s all a bit mushy for you skim past and get to the photos quick!
I’ve wanted to blog Sarah & Chris’ wedding for nearly a year now but it has so many emotions attached that I knew would come out! It was the first wedding I shot after the birth of our beautiful tiny one Matilda. She was not much over three months old and I was quite frankly a bit of a milky mess. The thing is I am a self confessed perfectionist with a liking for chaos and surprise; it’s a strange mix! The perfectionist side of me was causing me a fair bit of anxiety. How would I perform my best for this wonderful couple when I felt a bit odd? I always strive to give my absolute all to each of my couples and work to my absolute best. Somewhere along the line I realised I do what I do by feeling my way through the day and not planning the shots – it’s totally reactive to keep it real– making the most of every single memory making opportunity. This little thought helped me keep calm and realise my heart was even bigger now.
I was SO worried that my body just wouldn’t be able to do it anymore. Plus I had transformed into a mumma bear – what did that mean?? Any new mums out there will remember the exhaustion! Would my heart see as clearly? Would my sleep-deprived brain react quickly enough? I was pretty scared of letting these guys down. But you know what, I turned up super early and was welcomed like an old friend. I could feel the love and energy and it lifted me and carried me all day long. They made it easy for me. They let me in and trusted me when, let’s face it, I wasn’t entirely sure I could trust myself. They were beautiful and happy and funny and caring and kind. It was just perfect.
Sarah absolutely rocked her Catherine Deane dress and oh my – that flower crown was just beyond pretty eh? A highlight for me was venturing down to the beach with Sarah’s brother carefully navigating the super scary steep streets of Clovelly in his Landrover the arriving to beautiful sunshine with dark skies – it was stunning!!! Then later Chris convincing Sarah to have some photos in the fairground part of The Old Barn – it was so much fun!
Finally we ended the day with some portraits in the carpark (Oh yes those golden shots at the end were in the carpark!! Albeit on the edge next to some grass and with the fair rides in the background) just topped the day off perfectly. I have Sarah & Chris to thank for helping me see that I could still do what I do. No matter what. From the bottom of my heart I am so grateful for your kindness on your wedding day. xx
